Jane Hirshfield

:Thought I'll share this beautifully written poem by Jane Hirshfield.

THE POET

She is working now, in a room
not unlike this one,
the one where I write, or you read.
Her table is covered with paper.
The light of the lamp would be
tempered by a shade, where the bulb's
single harshness might dissolve,
but it is not, she has taken it off.
Her poems? I will never know them,
though they are the ones I most need.
Even the alphabet she writes in
I cannot decipher. Her chair -
Let us imagine whether it is leather
or canvas, vinyl or wicker. Let her
have a chair, her shadeless lamp,
the table. Let one or two she loves
be in the next room. Let the door
be closed, the sleeping ones healthy.
Let her have time, and silence,
enough paper to make mistakes and go on.

Whoppa!!

These few days, i've been attending a theatre workshop back in the good old roof-top-theatre. Technically, i was asked to be there just to ground the whole event. But i tell you, this group is such a talented bunch, they didn't need me to ground anything for them. Infact, i am so inspired to be in their midst. Both Puay Tin and Mark Teh has been generating loads of fun stuff! What a joy just to be in it. Everything about it has helped me cope with the not so bright side of things lately. I love playing there... Whoppa!!

Brooding lass

What is she thinking about?

A Letter of Thanks

This is not the typical kind of a Thank You letter. I dedicate it to a very special person and I hope that it is okay if it reads a little odd now. If it reads just fine then maybe you know where I am coming from.

Thank you for your shed blood and torn flesh. What sacrifice can be bigger than suffering till death! Thank you for your better solutions which I never see coming. It usually hits me after everything’s over. Then I realize that my anger was foolish and my questioning was unnecessary. But still, thank you for letting me make decisions - good or bad, big or small, you walk me through it despite of my undeserving behavior. Yet, thank you for the instances when you forcefully stop me a head of time. You saved my life.

I really appreciate the way you fix this jigsaw puzzle. I would not have had it any other way even though you pushed my limits again and again. You seem to know exactly how much I can take. It is like how when Coach used to throw me into a six feet deep pool - I drown for a while, drink lots of chlorine and some pee water, but never once did he take his eyes from me till I start paddling like a pro. Your sight never left me. Your doings are aesthetically out of this world.

Then, the way you cure anything which is everything, certainly does not need to get tested. No one can sit as the judge to qualify you. As amusing as your working ethos may be, you are definitely not the musing kind; just maintaining patience till the timing is right. And then you teach knowledge, nurture it into understanding, and then store it as wisdom - a gift. Humanly speaking, you are weird. But I look to be at least a fraction like you. That itself is a lot of catching up to do.

Anxiety & Trust

How we get consumed by anxiety! Why do we have this need to keep in touch? We grow to like someone even if it is a mere momentary run-in-to. At the back of our heads we see some kind of hope to be connected to them, near or far. Once we get a hold of the person, it is hard to let go, even harder when we get ignored. It’s like the more we are ignored, the more insecure we become and then we try even harder to figure things out. We try to understand why or what has gone wrong. Whether if we were used or misunderstood or hated or maybe not very likable. The more we try to better something the more mistakes we feel we’re making. Such painful unnecessary worry! The one who has the power must show compassion. The empowered one should explain and be direct. Not leave someone guessing nor give unsettling lame excuses like “I’ve been busy”. If we cannot commit anymore, we should admit it than to leave someone’s life hanging in a land of drought and wicked dust.

The trust issue:

How much do you trust a stranger? Can you trust a stranger? Is this stranger a big bad wolf? Is there a possibility for friendship? Is there a possibility for relationship? How should I pursue it? Will it be too much or overtly friendly? Will I appear foolish? Will I be hurt? How will we relate to each other? Should I give this much away? Is it safe for me to share this much? Will I be appreciated? Am I understood? Is he/she sincere? Why does he/she enjoy being with me? What does he/she wants from me? What can I not say? How should I phrase my sentences? Am I losing myself? How to think straight now? Do good people still exist? Will I be kidnapped? Will I be murdered? What will my parents say? At what point does friendliness end and flirtation began? Should I give my actual name, number and address? Is he/she telling the truth? How do I test a stranger? How do I meet a stranger?

Prodical runs dry... Now, returning...

Till there is no mo ...

Like the rose and its thorns
So is love with its brevity
Brave hearts of hearts drop taps
Resonant round insidious wade
Slashes and meshes
Bleeds pieces of defiled clod

In squarish junctions the world rushes by
Imponderous being draining dry
A writer had no words that day
An unknown singer has passed away
Lacking mobility the naked artist lay
No more muses, no more... Sorrow

On a clear morning
Lilies of the valley waft
The returning sweetness
Tingles joy beside these ears
Vaporizing cure brings comfort within
Lightening the angst of distant isolation

"To see a peer praising Him, i drop my head and i see myself walking further away. Where is the fire and passion that i once had? Hearing a friend speak of a life bursting with laughter and joy, i cringe. I do need to get back. I remember that there is really, no greater joy than to give every intention, expression & energy to Him. I DO NEED TO GET BACK!"

What have I got to hide?

Oh, a reputation
Passed down from one generation to another
I cannot break the tradition
Neither am i able to keep it up
What should i do?